Monday, March 29, 2004
Amelia is currently feeling happy!!

I hope Monday Blue doesn't hit me come morning. Wait, now is morning already. Hmm.. Just that our minds and bodies don't think that it's morning. Because to them, morning is when you wake up from your sleep. Not that 10 mins sleep in the bus or mrt, and also not the 1-4 hours nap in the afternoon. I'm talking about real and serious sleep, the one when you wear your pyjamas, brush your teeth before and after. I'm sure you know what I mean, yup. And back to Monday Blue, it usually hits in the morning, right after you're awake. So, I'm praying that it doesn't come hit me tomorrow, I mean today..morning.. when I wake up, and then spoil my day. But it shouldn't happen to me actually, because it makes no difference whether it's weekend or weekday since I'm not working. Wait a minute, it does make a difference, just not this week, no.. last week, hell.. does the week start with Sunday or Monday? Alright, so I was saying that it can have an effect on me, this Monday Blue, because while I'm not working everybody else is. So when the people around me get Monday Blue, naturally I'll feel blue as well. And even when I'm supposed to be happy and laughing at all the poor souls who have proper jobs, I can't be happy and laughing when I'm alone. Because it is actually better to feel blue but able to complain to your friends than to feel happy but you can't share it with anyone. Err.. you know what I mean, right?

Oh, back to my current state.. Mmm.. I'm happy!! I've recovered from a 37.4 deg C fever and I am one happy girl at the moment. :)

romanced at 00:07hr

Sunday, March 28, 2004
Hmm.. I don't know what happened to the colourful picture that I had at the top of this page. It just disappears. Well, until I find another picture that I like, I'll just put this up (see above picture of boys). The black and white photo doesn't exactly match the pink background. But it somehow matches my mood. So I guess it'll do.

romanced at 11:54hr

Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Sigh, I'm feeling down again. So much for wishing it to go away. I guess I DO have mood swings. Or maybe it's something else. I'm not sure. Had a headache today. This is way too often to be normal. But the doctor warned me before that it'll come back. There's no cure for it, and the cause is not known either. It just happens to people. Some inbalance somewhere in the head. Yeah, how comforting.

romanced at 22:57hr

I've been accepted to Imperial. Yay!!

Here's what the e-mail says:
Dear Amelia,
I enjoyed meeting you during my trip to Singapore and discussing various aspects of chemical engineering with you. This is to inform you that I have decided to make you an unconditional offer to read chemical engineering in our Department. A formal acceptance letter will follow.

I look forward to seeing you in the Department soon!
With best wishes,
OKM.

Unconditional offer. That sounds good. Haha.. ya right. He knows my results. That was one of the first few questions he asked.. But who cares. I've been accepted. Yay Yay. Now I just need some money. Correction: a lot of money. Haha.. What should I do now? What should I do? Where should I begin the search? Tell me.. TELL ME...!! Let's see.. Any rich man out there in need of a bride? No, that won't do. Erm.. any old and dying souls with cash to spare? Ok, I accept cheque too.

romanced at 00:55hr

Tuesday, March 23, 2004
I'm feeling happy at this moment. Just less than 24 hours ago I was feeling very moody. Sad, angry, frustrated, confused, and all the negative feelings, you name it. I never get moody before. I thought I don't have mood swings. I just woke up feeling unhappy and then started to hate everything. And I got irritated by the slightest thing. But I didn't show it. Or at least nobody noticed anyway. So I guess I handled it pretty okay considered how inexperienced I am in this "mood" stuff. Had to bug Qj though. Beg him to talk to me for 15 minutes. Sweet of him to comply even though he was busy. (Thank you darling)

And here's how silly I was: Yanti called on Saturday to ask if I can accompany her to shop for sandals. But I was in the cinema. Then the next day she sent me a forwarded message, which I replied. She didn't reply to that. Then late at night I messaged her again. By then I was already thinking about the possibility of Yanti ignoring me. And I was already in a bad mood because of certain things that certain someone said. So when Yan didn't reply by Monday morning, I just felt very sad and a bit angry. Turn out that Yan didn't receive my first message and she already told me why she couldn't reply to the second one. So silly of me.

Thoughout Monday I felt sad and angry alternatively. And somehow the things that happened around me just made it worse. First they made me bring my discman and bulky speakers to school even though I live the farthest. And the person who asked me to bring live like less than 7 bus stops from school?. Then they made me walk the long way to the main gate. Ask to meet at 12, making me think that they are so enthusiastic about this dance. My foot. When I reached at 1250 I still had to wait for the others. And after everyone was there, we were actually sitting down at the canteen for lunch. What the hell. I could eat my lunch at home.

Not a word was said about the discman and speakers that I brought. They were not needed at all. Because they actually have made an arrangement to borrow a player from the juniors. And nobody thought that it was wise to let me know. What made me pissed is that nobody asked about it and there was certainly NO thank you. Well, the least they can do is to appreaciate my effort. And those are my good friends.

During the dance practice I was talking normally to them while at the same time I wanted to scream at them. It drove me crazy. I know I have a reason to be pissed but being in a bad mood kind of makes things wild. Like it turns small problem into such big deals? (There's a word for this but I can't think of it now)

Sigh. This moodiness thing is no small matter. All the emotion just welled up in my chest and I almost cried on the bus ride home. I wish it doesn't come bother me anymore.

And today Yan and me went to Baya's house to watch vcds. Don't like that it rained ONLY when we were walking without shelter. So irritating. The moment we reached the void deck the rain became less heavy. Haha.. And we ate pizza again. I ate four slices. All that calories I burned dancing has probably came back now.

romanced at 23:18hr

Thursday, March 18, 2004
Tuesday 16th March 2004, 1440, British Council Level 2 Room 202.

Dr O K Matar (of Imperial) : You said Imperial is your first choice? Why didn't you want to go to Cambridge. I mean it's a top University as well.

Amelia : Cambridge is too at the top, I just don't want to be in the very top school. It's quite stressful in there. And if you're at the top, when you fall it'll be very hard. Yah..

Dr O K Matar : I see, I see. I know what you mean.

Great. I'm dead.

romanced at 21:51hr

Wednesday, March 17, 2004
My chance of getting the st scholarship is very slim. Apparently almost all who applied to the scholarship got called up for interview. Which means that they haven't shortlisted their candidates. And according to the lady in charge of scholars, there'll be second and third rounds of interviews. Today alone there were 25 candidates altogether. And I heard from a group's conversation that there are 300 applicants this year. After this first interview, they'll drastically cut down the numbers of candidates. Drastically. I believe only about 10% will make it to the second round. Based on what I know and guess, the probability of me being called up for the second interview is : 1C1 x 249C24 / 250C25 = 0.1. Simply put, it's just 10%. But if anyone needs proof, you can follow the calculation.

Sigh.

romanced at 22:16hr

Tuesday, March 16, 2004
This is from an e-mail a friend sent me. A love story:

From the very beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrelled very often. Though the girl loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?" As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the gal often vent her anger on him. As for him,.. he just kept quiet.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged. The gal went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it was hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the gal was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. when she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. she had lost her voice....

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.. it's still just silence cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone, which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. And not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, countless of phonecalls,.. all the gal could do, besides crying, is still crying.... The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy. With a new environment, the gal learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing ainvitation card for the guy's wedding. the gal was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her.

He used sign language to tell her "I've spent a year to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The gal finally smiled.

Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to Give. Treat every moment as is it's the last day, then you'll know how to treasure. Treasure what you have right now, or else you will regret one day.

Sigh. I can't help it. I'm a sucker for romance. And this is such a sweet story. (Even though it's just a story)

romanced at 20:42hr

Saturday, March 13, 2004
Yay! Finally I've got a new PIN no. and can apply to NUS/NTU from tmr onwards. Well, I can actually apply without it, just that I've got to provide a lot of informations, and then must send written documents as proofs. So troublesome. Might as well go to NUS to get a replacement PIN.

Met Koony, Lim Jing, Qj, Wei jin, and Bernie there. Then went to McD with Qj and Wei jin to eat and chat. We talked for 3 hours, haha.. longer than the time we spent in NUS. After that went to orchard with Qj because he didn't want to go home yet. Ate Long John Silver and talked some more. Don't know what we talked about, but we were talking until the last second when his train arrived.

The talks at NUS were not very useful actually. My friend Gladys and I were talking most of the time in the hall. We had to sit on the floor because there were no more seats. And we even took pictures using my phone. Think the people sitting behind us must have thought that we were mad.

romanced at 23:05hr

Friday, March 12, 2004
Ugh. Out of the many scholarships offered to A level graduates, I found only two that I'm eligible for. And the closing date for both application is TODAY - 7 days after the official release of A level results. Luckily I checked the date in time. Err.. in time as in before it closes, haha.. So now I'll just have to write some essays.

Let's see.. I've submitted one application. That one asks "who are you and what do you want to be?" and "what is success to you?" Then there's another one that asks me to "describe any special achievements made and/or awards received" among other things. Sigh. What special achievements? What's considered special? And it also wants me name two character referees, who know me well with regard of my character and performance. Hmmm.. who wants to be my referee? (smile sweetly and eyes blinking unnaturally.. can you see i'm pleading?)

In the meantime, let me wish You Yi a very happy birthday. Yup, it's his birthday today. Poor thing he has to spend it in camp, doing ipp test somemore. And I haven't got a present for him, haha.. sorry dear.

Alright, back to the current pressing problem. Thank you Mr Fuad for agreeing to be my referee so readily :). Now I have to find one more. Wonder if family members can be referees...

romanced at 17:16hr

Wednesday, March 10, 2004
I'm going to stay home the rest of today no matter what. I've been out everyday since last friday. My legs're hurting from walking too much, and my upper tight're hurting from dancing. My fault since I didn't warm up. Sigh. And I woke up at 5.15 AM today because I have to send my cousin to the airport. His flight is at 8.40, gotta check-in at 6.40, so must leave house at 6. Somehow I was nervous about not being able to wake up in time that I woke up on my own at 4. Forced myself to go back to sleep then woke up again at 4.30. The half-hour felt longer than it was and I even dreamt. Kept telling myself to "just sleep, it's still early". Then my maid woke me up 5 minutes before my alarm clock supposed to go off. Wonder if I should take a nap today. Once I sleep it'll be at least for 4 hours. Too much sleep is not good. I'm having headache more frequently recently and I think it may have something to do with sleeping too long. But lack of sleep can cause headache too. Argh.. why is there pain in this world.

romanced at 10:08hr

Saturday, March 06, 2004
I'm so glad I went to Nj. I know I know, it's not exactly a 'fun' school. But the people there are all very nice. At least the people whom I'm acquainted to are mostly nice. Maybe because I'm a nice person, haha.. Anyway, the teachers there have faith in me. That makes a lot of difference. After I made my mind to go to jc during my O level, I asked a few schools if not having A maths will pose a problem. Well, some schools did not even let that to be a problem to me. They just straightaway tell me that I will not be able to go to science stream, asked me to consider Art, and telling me the cut-off point without my asking. Well, probably to scare me off. But the HOD of maths in Nj was very nice. She said yes when I asked if I could offer science and advised me to do A maths on my own during December break. I took her advice of course, but only managed to do less than 7 topics in the 2 months, using Longman Revision Guide for A maths and a ten-year-series which was on sale. I was struggling in Functions then, not knowing for sure how to use function f, and what f(x)=o means. I haven't heard of discriminant D before.

Well, the struggle continued in jc. Then one day, Miss Ann Koh (now Ms) wrote words of encouragement on my first lecture test papers. I was very happy and touched. It was kind of motivating to know that my efforts haven't gone unnoticed. And being an emotional person that I am, reading those words almost brought tears to my eyes. Thank you very much Ms Koh. :)

And I thank fate for bringing me to meet the right people. I know how pushy I can be during discussions. Like when I refused to drop the subject until everything makes sense, or when I kept asking questions till it went out of topic. Not everyone can put up with that. But no one in the class ridiculed me. So thank you everyone (or at least you did it behind my back, so thank you too).

There are so many people I want to thank. But I don't think I should write it here. I will take all day to compose, then it'll take the whole page. Haha.. and it's not as if I received an Oscar. "I wanna thank my director, producer, the scriptwriter, my mother, my father, my fans..." :P


Really, thank you my darlings.
Hugs and Kisses.

romanced at 19:56hr

Thursday, March 04, 2004
Whoa, I woke up so early, :) but so tempted to go back to sleep. This is actually nothing compared to last year when I woke up at 6.15 am almost everyday. Nowadays I'm getting up at 9 am. But I'll know I'll adjust when the time comes. Anyway, the reason why I woke up early today is : because I have something to do.. haha.. ok, ok, my sister wants me to help her make a copy of her classical CD. But I couldn't do it at the moment and I have no idea what's wrong. (Stupid computer @$^%&!) So I copied all the songs she wants to the hard disk first. Hmm.. I'll have to teach my sister how to do this one day. Then she don't have to wake me up. It's quite simple also.

romanced at 07:35hr

Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Finally, an announcement about the A level results. Read here. Well, see you guys at school before 4 pm. I hope you guys will still be there. In the meantime, I'm praying hard that I won't screw up in the interview. (which is on friday, 2pm) and for good results.

romanced at 13:44hr

Monday, March 01, 2004
Another uneventful day. Sigh. If not for the few minutes of icq chats with Shu and Collin, and a very brief phonecall from Archie, my life will be totally disconnected from the world outside. Even then I did all the chatting in the comfort of my home. I think I'm getting more and more used to being at home and doing nothing. This scares me a little. I should listen to Shu's suggestion : plan my days, do things that I want to do or have always wanted to do. After all I'm having my much-deserved break now. When University starts (hopefully I can get into one), I'll be busy again. So this is the only chance that I have all the time to myself. Hmm.. let's see.

+ i've not really master cycling yet, so that one needs practise, and lots of it.
+ i need to swim more often, before i forget how to swim.. again. (i'm serious)
+ can do more baking, since i like to eat sweet stuffs, it saves money this way.
(provided my baking doesn't fail)
+ practise my guitar (oh ya) [when i'm busy i feel like playing, when i'm
slacking i abandon it, (shaking head)]
+ watch a play, or a dance performance, say.. Disney on Ice !! yeah..
+ eat right, exercise more. wait a minute, that's what i should do EVERYDAY. haha.., yah, i'm becoming more sickly, so better watch out.

romanced at 23:01hr